Worship Insights # 3 - Jess Blatchley

Girlie Worship
I think leading worship presents a huge number of challenges for both men and women. Personally at the moment I feel the main one for me is dealing with fluctuating feelings of inadequacy e.g. “I can’t play the guitar as well as Dave, Bob, Andy etc…”; or “I can hear an audible sigh from the congregation when they see me up there on a Sunday instead of Dave, Bob, Andy etc…”; or even “I’m just RUBBISH at this!” (That last one is usually accompanied by lots of sobbing and possibly a bit of foot stamping.) In the week leading up to a Sunday when I’m the designated leader I feel like this almost every day. I can usually manage to talk myself through it. Failing that, my husband declares somewhat bewilderedly that I am completely bonkers and spouting a load of nonsense which generally breaks the cycle of self-loathing! I’ve found it to be part of the process that the Lord lets me go through until I finally remember that it’s supposed to be about HIM (oh yes, that’s right….!)

I guess the practical challenges are there too. The most random is the fact that I can pitch a song in exactly the same key as the male worship leaders (in our church most of them have tenor voices) yet find the congregation completely unable to sing them in that exact same key when I’m leading. I’ve often had comments like “that song was just too high for us Jess” or even “that song was too high for YOU Jess”. What’s that all about? The fact is my voice sometimes SOUNDS too high for the congregation to reach; so I usually have to take songs down a semi tone or two to counteract this problem. The other practical challenge is how to deliver the more “aggressive” or “driven” songs that the men seem to do with such ease. I do find myself having to do a “rock chick” impersonation (i.e. stretching my voice to “belt” level) and find myself somewhat exhausted by the end of it! I breathe a sigh of relief when I finally reach the “intimate worship” phase….that feels like home to me…(or maybe it’s just old age settling in?)
Anyhow, that’s how I’m feeling about leading worship today. I’ll probably feel completely different about it tomorrow!